Roanapur's Last Stand
by KODfreak
Summary: When the United States plans to invade and rid Roanapur of all criminal activity, it's going to take the help of the Lagoon Company, Hotel Moscow, Hong Kong Triad, and a couple of Thai Martial Arts movie stars to defend it.
1. Chapter 1

It was a day like any other in Roanopur. The beautiful blue sky was shining down on the otherwise ugly city. Prostitutes were out offering their services, four men were beating another man to death, and a poor old man just got his wallet stolen.

All seemed normal...except for one thing.

Up in the sky, flying over the city was an American Blackhawk Helicopter. It looked so out of place that all activity stopped and all eyes were staring at it. Just what was it doing here?

Also taking notice to the helicopter was a woman known in the city as "Two-Hands", along with her fellow Lagoon Company comrade, Rock, as they were sitting down for a ramen lunch.

"What the hell is that?" she asked.

"If I didn't know any better...I'd say that's an American Government Helicopter. But just what would it be doing here?"

"I don't know, but I don't like the looks of it."

The helicopter made its way to the headquarters of one of the supreme rulers of this kingdom of crime, Hotel Moscow. As it landed down in front, all of the Russians inside were alarmed, and had weapons ready just in case. As soon at the propellers stopped revolving, three men walked out, all wearing suits and ties. They walked towards the doors while two other men stood guard in front of the helicopter, guns ready. The three men then walked inside.

Meanwhile, Balalaika, the leader of Hotel Moscow, sat in her office, aware of the situation. One of her men quickly walked up to her.

"The three men wish to speak to you, boss."

"Well then send them in. If they wish to speak to me I will gladly grant them an audience."

"Yes ma'am."

About after a couple of minutes, the three men were sent into Balalaika's office.

"So. To whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?" The mafia boss asked.

"For certain purposes, you may call me Jon."

"Very well, Jon." Balalaika said with a smile. "What brings you to my beloved city of Roanapur?"

"This is a very important situation, Ms Balalaika. For too long, our nation has just sat idle by why this monstrosity you call a city is destroying itself. We've been given information that the death toll has been enormous, and even the daily death toll, unacceptable. Your so called police force, an embarrassment. We've decided that enough is enough, so we are going to take a stand."

"What exactly are you proposing to do?"

"In about a week, we will deploy American forces to rid the town of all criminal scum, occupy the city, and to turn it into a peaceful, crime free territory."

"And why do you feel the need to declare war?"

"That's what we've come here to talk about. We do not wish to take any lives in the process, but we will if the situation calls for it. We are giving you exactly a week to evacuate to rid you from harm...or else you'll be considered an official enemy of the United States."

"Mm hmm...and why do you care so much about our little city? The general public in your country doesn't even know about Roanapur, so why waste their tax dollars attempting get rid of it?"

"You could say it's in the country's best interest."

"In that case, Jon, I wish you good luck."

"You're making a big mistake."

"Boris, please escort Jon and his men back to their car."

"Right away. Gentlemen, if you please." Boris said walking towards them. He led Jon and the men out. Once Boris returned, Balalaika took out a cigar, lit it, and began to smoke. She had an upset look on her face.

"This is bad. I always dreaded that this day would come. Boris, contact Mr. Chang immidiently."

"Of course."

Meanwhile, at Chang's headquarters...

Chang was talking on the phone with Balalaika.

"So let me get this straight, Fry Face. Your old enemy the U S of A is now declaring war on Roanapur?"

"Yes Chang, and this concerns you too. Once they invade, there will be no hopes of stopping them."

Chang could detect the seriousness in her voice.

"Well if you're that worried about it you could just do what they say and leave."

"That's not an option. I've worked too hard to just give up everything."

"In that case..." Chang said with a smile. "Why don't you stay here with me and fight them off?"

"You can't be serious, Chang. You know we don't even stand a chance."

"Oh Fry Face, you always fail to see the bigger picture."

"Just what are you blabbering about now?"

"Have you ever heard of the battle of Shiroyama?"

"No."

"Now, I'm not Japanese, but I still think it's a pretty cool story. It took place in eighteen seventy-seven, where five hundred samurai, led by Saigo Takamori, make a last stand against thirty-thousand imperial forces, all armed with guns while the samurai only had their swords."

"And let me guess, they all died."

"Well yes, but not before taking ten-thousand and five hundred of those fuckers with them."

"So let me get this straight. You're saying we should stay and fight, even though we're most likely going to lose?"

"Well yeah...and I thought it would be really cool to go down that way."

"Oh brother. And what is your reason for not leaving?"

"Ehhh I really don't have anywhere to go to. I'm positive we could find someplace else to crash, but you could say I've just grown accustomed to this city. I'm not going to give it up without a fight."

"Well said Chang. I guess it's decided then."

That night at The Yellow Flag...

Rock and Revy were at the bar, having a couple of drinks. Bao looked depressed, and he let out a sigh as he wiped a glass.

"Eeesh! What's wrong with you Bao?"

"Didn't you hear, Revy? It's all everyone's talking about."

"Huh. It can't be that bad."

"It is Revy..." said Rock, looking upset.

"Oh come on. Not you too. Just tell me what's up already!"

"The United States will invade Roanapur in about a week. If we don't surrender by then, they'll shoot us all down, and lord knows I can't afford another shooting in this bar." Bao explained.

"WHAT!" Revy yelled slamming her fist on the counter. "Those bastards are going to invade Roanapur!?"

"Revy, calm down." said Rock. "It's not like this wasn't inevitable. This city is full of criminals, mafia, drug smugglers, prostitutes, murderers, thieves, pirates, rapists, and just...other bad people. It's foolish to think that it would go on forever." he said, sadly taking a drink.

"So what happens now?"

"Well, I know I'm not going to stay here to see what it looks like. I have no choice but to...go back home. The problem is...I don't know what kind of life I can live now that I've been with you and the Lagoon Company. I know for a fact I can't go back to my old job."

"Hey! Now you shut up right now!" Revy demanded grabbing him by the scruff. "There's no way I'm going to let some American bastards take over this city! And you're not going anywhere, got it? Not on my watch!"

"Revy, the United States outnumbers us a million to one. There's no chance for victory."

"Rock, you know when you signed up for this job, you were basically signing your own death certificate. You said it yourself, we're all already dead, and this is the last stop before hell. There's no turning back, except with a hole in your head from this cutless, got it?"

"Y-Yes Revy..." Rock said with a gulp, not wanting to anger the trigger-happy woman.

"Good. Now I think the person to go to talk about this is Sis. She'll know what to do. Come on Rock, let's go call her up."

"Okay Revy..."

30 minutes later...

Rock, Revy, Dutch, and Benny were in the office of Balalaika.

"So Sis, what's this I hear about a full on war between us and the United States, huh?" asked Revy with her hand on her hips.

"I'm surprised you hadn't heard, Two-Hands. Chang told his associates who told more people who told more people which now made everyone in town heard of it."

"I just didn't hear about it, okay! No one told me!" shouted Revy.

"It's true. The United States really is going to invade and attempt to wipe us all out. Chang and I are staying to fight. I don't know about the Italians..."

"Even with you and Chang's armies combined, we'll still be completely outnumbered." said Dutch.

"What about the rip-off church?" suggested Benny.

"I don't know. Eda will probably high tail it out of here." said Revy. "But I know we're definitely going to fight along side you!" she said hooking her arm around Rock's and pulling him uncomfortably close to her.

"That's what I wanted hear. If we want even a slight chance of survival, we're going to have to convince the entire city to fight. I think it would be in your best interest to contact anyone you know to help fight, as will I."

"Yes ma'am." said Dutch.


	2. Chapter 2

Back at the Lagoon Company Offices...

"So let me get this straight, Rock." said Dutch. "How many people do we have on board again?"

"Well I haven't heard back from the rip-off church yet, but so far we have Shenhua, Lotton, and Sawyer on their way over here now to join us."

"Damn...only three people. There's gotta be someone we know who has friends in high places."

"I even tried to convince the police to help...but they say they have families to take care of and that they were leaving."

"Cowards..."

"Knock knock!"

Chang walked in with a smile on his face.

"Mr Chang?" asked Rock.

"I've got a little present for you!"

Chang let Roberta in, who now had implants for her missing body parts.

"AHH!" Rock yelped stumbling backward on to the couch as Dutch took a few cautious steps back.

"Whoa! Chang, have you finally lost your marbles?" asked Dutch.

"Calm down. She's all nice and sane now."

"Excuse me Mr. Rock, Mr. Dutch for my behaviour from our last encounter. I was being a little out of line, and to show my apologies, I have agreed to fight with you."

"W-Well uh..." said Rock. "This is quite the surprise. Are you sure she's alright, Chang? It is kind of strange that she would just come out of the blue and decide to risk her life for this city for which she has no emotional attachment to."

"Believe me, I was surprised as well. But, I was making calls to everyone we knew. I wasn't really expecting assistance from the Lovelace Family, but we need all the help we could get, so I figured, why not? It was worth a shot, and what do you know, it paid off. Apparently, Garcia decided he owed us one for bringing Roberta back to him in one piece."

"Yes, it is true. Young Master was at first very displeased about the whole experience. But then he realized without the help and resources the city provided him, he would have never been able to take me home during my outbreak, so he decided to help all that he could."

"Not only her, but someone else as well. Alright, Fabi, you can come in now."

Fabiola walked inside.

"You know...I never wanted to come back here but...when Young Master gives me an order, I must obey."

"Heh. Chang, you really outdid yourself." Dutch said with a smile. "With just Roberta alone, she could probably take out the entire United States army single handedly. And with her bare hands too."

"Mr Dutch, you flatter me." said Roberta with a small smile.

"So anyway, where's Benny and Two-Hands?"

"Benny's in his room researching more people that could be valuable to our cause, and Revy went to go pick up Shenhua, Sawyer, and Lotton."

"Well how about that." Chang said with a mischievous grin. "I can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees the maid in the room."

"I think you'll get your chance now, though it won't be so funny for me if they tear this place up." Dutch said as they heard the sound of a car pulling up to the building.

"Please do not worry, Mr. Dutch." said Roberta. "If Ms. Rebecca really wishes to fight, then I will take it outside to settle our differences."

"I'm glad to hear that."

A few moments later, the door opened, and Revy, Shenhua, Lotton, and Sawyer walked in.

"Hey guys, I'm BAAH!" Revy yelped pulling out her cutlasses and pointing them at Roberta.

"Oh hell no. Babysitting maid was not the deal. We're out." said Shenhua.

"Stay right where you are." said Revy pointing one of her guns at Shenhua. "Rock, explain to me why she is here."

"W-Well Revy, Chang called Garcia, and he sent Roberta and Fabiola here to help us fight."

"Is that so? Well let's make one thing clear. You have any kind of mental slip just one time, then I'll pull the trigger, got it?"

"Ms. Rebecca, there is no need for a warning. I will not turn against you."

"Well...I'm just glad that's all settled." said Rock.

"Hold it right there!" said Revy. "This doesn't settle anything between us. She and I still have a bone to pick."

"Come on, Revy. Now's not the time for this."

"No Rock. This bitch and I still have unfinished business."

"Very well, Ms. Rebecca. If you wish to settle our differences, I've already agreed that we take it outside."

"Fine by me. I'll see you all in a few minutes. And you three." She said pointing to Shenhua, Sawyer and Lotton. "Stay put. Maid, let's get this over with."

Revy and Roberta then left the building, but not before Revy set her cutlasses down on the table.

"This isn't good..." said Rock. "Now's not the time to be squabbling amongst ourselves. If we're going to have any chance at surviving this ordeal, we need order."

"Spoken like a true prodigy..." said Chang. "But still...I do find it pretty amusing! Ha ha!" he said with a laugh. Rock let out a sigh.

"Well anyway...you three. Is there anyone you know that could help us fight?"

"I don't know anyone. So sorry." said Shenhua.

"Really? No one?"

"They all say 'No way jose.'"

"Darn...Sawyer?"

"I'm sorry...I...don't know...anyone that...could be of help."

"Hmm...Lotton?"

"Hmph." he said with a smile. "I'm glad you asked. For there is one person I know who could be quite valuable."

Everyone turned their heads to him.

"Really? Great! Who is this person?" asked Rock, hopeful.

"Well, I'll take you to him."

"Okay!"

"No need for everyone to go, but you'll need protection." suggested Dutch. "Shenhua, Fabiola, you can stay here with me and help find more people."

"I'll tag along with Rock. This is something I gotta see." Chang said with a smile.

"Alright we see you later." said Shenhua.

The four of them walked outside.

"Hey Revy!" Rock called out to her as she was fighting Roberta. "Are you two going to be alright over there while we're out?"

"Just fine Rock!" Revy screamed as they two women were punching each other.

Rock, Chang, and Sawyer followed Lotton down a couple of streets and into a dark alley.

"Uhh Lotton...are you sure that guy is around here?" asked Rock.

"Ha ha ha, don't be so quick to doubt my words." The self proclaimed wizard said. "Master! Are you in?"

"Chi Lotton chan xyu thi ni" They heard a voice speak in Thai.

"Wait...a minute. That voice...sounds...familiar." said Sawyer. They all walked behind the dumpster to see a young man in beggar clothes wearing an asian farming hat.

"Greetings Master..." Lotton said kneeling down. "These are my friends, and they request your assistance. Only one of them speaks Thai, so you should probably speak in english."

"Very well..." the beggar said lifting his head up so they could see his face.

"Oh...my...god." said Sawyer, her eyes widened. "It's...Tony Jaa!"

"Hmph...so you heard of me?" Tony asked with a smile.

"Oh...yes. I love...all of your...movies. But...what are...you doing here? And...wearing clothes...like that?"

"Ahhh well...I kind of got tired of the whole Thai film industry after I got signed into the Sahamongkol film company. I always wanted to star in American films but they have strict regulations against that. So I disappeared, back to my monastery, where I felt like I truely belonged, but I realized I couldn't stay there forever. Eventually I would have been found out, so I left here to Roanapur."

"But...you can't...live behind...a dumpster. You deserve...better."

"Well, that's sweet of you to say." Tony said, resulting in a small blush from the chainsaw weilding cleaner. "But it's not so bad. I like it here, because there's a lot of people in need that I can help."

"Well that's good to hear, because the entire city needs your help." said Rock. "Mr. Jaa, we came to ask if you could help us defend the city against an attack from the United States."

"Well, I don't see why not." Tony said standing up. "I've got nothing to lose."

"Except...your life." said sawyer.

"I don't care what happens to me, as long as I'm remebered for defending a city from total destruction."

"So...heroic." Sawyer said in response.

"In that case Mr. Jaa, please, follow me back to our office." said Rock.

"It would be my pleasure. But first." Tony said walking over behind the dumpster and picking up a katana. "My weapon of choice."

They all began to walk back to the office.

"So my new friends, what are your names?"

"You can call me Rock."

"The name's Chang, pleased to meet ya."

"My name's...Frederica. But you can call me...Sawyer."

"Frederica...such a pretty name for a pretty girl. But if you prefer Sawyer, I will refer to you as such."

"You can...call me...whatever you...like." Sawyer said with a small blush.

"Very well, Frederica."

They soon reached the Lagoon Company office, where Tony reacted in shock once he saw Revy and Roberta fighting.

"Hold this." he said to Lotton as he handed his katana to him and ran up to the two women, who were bruised and bloody.

"You two! Stop it this instant!" Tony ordered pulling Revy away from Roberta.

"Hey! What's the big idea!?" Revy shouted turning to punch Tony. He grabbed her fist and bent her arm behind her back.

"OWW! That fucking hurts you son of a bitch!" she yelled as Tony forced her to the ground.

"Oh...I see you've met two other members of our team, Revy and Roberta." said Rock.

"You're on our team? Well there's no way we'll win this if our comrades are fighting against each other. The enemy here is the United States. This will get us nowhere, got it?"

"Alright alright! Fine sheesh! Just let me go, okay!"

Tony let Revy go.

"My name is Tony Jaa by the way, and I'm your newest comrade."

"Well...nice to meet you, Tony." said Revy sarcastically. "What gutter did you fish him out of, Rock?"

"Hey...show some...respect." said Sawyer.

"Oh, I'm sorry Spooky. Did I disrespect your boyfriend?"

"Revy, this man is actually a famous Thai movie star and skilled martial artist." explained Rock.

"Oh yeah? Then how come he's dressed like a bum?"

"He's grown tired with showbiz and moved here to escape that kind of life."

"Huh. And why would anyone be seeking this type of life?"

"Because a lot of people here need help, and I like helping others in need. And from the looks of it, I'd say everyone in the city needs my help."

"Ugh, whatever..."

"I apologize for her behavior." said Roberta walking up to Tony. "My name is Roberta."

"It's nice to meet you, Roberta. What's a nice, innocent looking lady like you doing in a place like this?"

"Looks can be deceiving, Tony." said Chang. "She's actually one of the strongest warriors we've got."

"Is that so?"

"It is true, Mr. Jaa. I am quite capable of holding my own."

"Oh shit me a break, I'm just as strong as she is."

"Revy, may I remind you that it took a large army to even stand a chance against her?" asked Rock.

"So what? And may I remind you that I've taken out entire armies?"

"In that case, I look forward to seeing you two prove it on the battlefield." said Tony.

The group walked up to the office and went inside. Dutch and the others were their to greet them.

"Ah ha...so this is that guy Lotton knows..."

"Yes, Dutch. I know this looks like a homeless person, but he is in fact Tony Jaa, the movie star."

"You don't need to tell me twice." Dutch said with a smile. "I reconize that face anywhere. But how the hell are we going to afford him?"

"It's not like that. I have agreed to help you in your fight because I believe it is my duty to protect these people."

"I can't argue with that. Welcome aboard."

"So Dutch, have you come in contact with anyone else?"

"Benny-Boy is working on finding some people. I did get hold of Eda, and she told me that should be 'of great help' to us."

"Are you all looking for people that will help us fight?" asked Tony.

"Yes. Is there anyone you have in mind?"

"Well, there is this one woman I know..."


	3. Chapter 3

A few minutes later...

Rock and Dutch watched as Tony was talking to someone on the phone, speaking in Thai.

"I wonder who this woman is he's calling..." said Rock.

"I don't care as long as she's just as skilled as he is, and is willing to fight for free."

Tony suddenly looked at them.

"Is there any way we could fly her out here without being noticed by the general public?"

"I'm sure we can work something out." said Chang, overhearing the conversation.

"Okay great."

Tony continued to talk on the phone, but after a few moments, he hung up.

"Alright, we don't have a lot of time, so if we could get her here within the next few hours, that would be best."

"Leave it to me." Chang said taking out a cellphone. "What airport does she want to fly from?"

"Thai international."

"Okay. What's her name? I'll have one of my men there to guide her to a private jet."

"Just make sure someone is holding a sign that says: 'Nicharee Vismitananda'"

"...How do you spell that?"

After being told how to spell the name, Chang made a phone call and gave strict instructions on what to do to his men. After about a minute or two, he hung up.

"Alright. Your friend should be here in a couple hours or so. Are you sure she knows what she's getting into?"

"I'll explain it to her once she arrives. I'm sure once she understands the seriousness of the issue, she'll agree to help fight."

"And what skills does she have?" asked Rock.

"Well like me, she's an equally talented martial artist."

"You can never have enough of those on the team." Dutch said with a smile.

"Okay, so why are we all here again?" asked Fabiola. "Are we some kind of welcome wagon or something?"

"Later tonight after Tony's friend arrives, Balalaika is setting up a meeting with other criminal leaders of Roanapur, along with us to discuss the battle plans." explained Rock.

"That's good." said Tony. "The secret to victory is an organized army."

"My thoughts exactly. That's why we're looking for as many skilled combatants as we can find."

"What about the townspeople? What are they all going to do?"

"That's a good question. From what I could see, mostly everyone is just going about their normal routines, unsure of what to do."

"There's got to be a way for them to help us."

"I wish there was." said Rock. "What they need is order."

"What they need is someone who'll shoot their asses if they don't do what we say. And I think you're looking at her." Revy said proudly.

"What do you think?" Rock asked Tony.

"That could work, actually. Maybe this is a good thing to discuss with your friend Balalaika."

"I think I will."

The group waited around for a couple hours doing not much of anything. Chang was kicking back on the couch when his cellphone suddenly rang. Everyone's heads turned to him as he answered.

"Hello? Ahh yes did everything go smoothly? Ah yes I thought so. You're here right now? Well come right up!"

Chang hung up.

"She's about to arrive at the door any second."

A couple moments later there was a knock on the door, and Tony answered.

"Ahh Jeeja! There you are! How was the flight?"

"It was pretty nice, actually. Yeah, and those men told me to speak english."

"Yes I know. But that's the common language around here, I'm afraid."

Tony turned to everyone in the room.

"Guys, this is my good friend, Jeeja Yanin. Like me she's a martial artist, and has starred in a couple of movies as well."

"Pffff! Is this a joke? This little girl couldn't even beat mini maid." said Revy.

"Hey. Pardon my french but I can kick all kinds of ass." said Fabiola.

"Excuse me, but I'm not a little girl." said Jeeja. "I'm a quite capable fighter."

"Yeah right." Revy said stepping towards her. "And I'm the Queen of England." she said winding up her fist about to strike.

"HII!" Jeeja yelled leaping into the air and delivering a spin kick to Revy's jaw, causing her to spit out blood and sending her stumbling across the room and to the floor, out cold. Everyone was in awe.

"Oops...I guess I should have held back."

Rock walked over to Revy.

"Uhh Revy? You okay?" he asked lightly tapping her cheek.

"She's out cold."

"Huh. She made Ms. Rebecca finally shut up. I like her!" said Roberta.

"My kind of woman!" Lotton said with a smile.

"Welcome to the team." Dutch said with a grin.

"What team? What are you talking about?"

"Oh right...no one told you yet." said Tony.

"Told me what? Tony, what did you get me into?" Jeeja asked crossing her arms.

"Well...it's going to be a bit hard to explain..."

"Do you want me to give it to her straight?" asked Dutch.

"I don't like where this is headed..."

"Basically, we have flown you here to help us fight a huge war against the United States to protect our city."

"Whoa, stop it right there. I never agreed to such a thing."

"Jeeja, this town is in dire need of someone like you. All these people will die unless we make a stand."

"I never enlisted myself into an army to fight a war. No, I'm not going to risk my life for a city I never even heard of!"

"Well...then risk your life for me."

"Ha. Sorry Tony. This isn't some kind of friendly favor you can just ask me to do. Get your little boys to get me on the first flight back to Bangkok."

"My Lady, if you please..." Lotton suddenly said. "There's no good reason for your you staying here to fight in this war. It was very sudden and short notice, I will admit to that. In fact, you would have to be quite the fool to accept."

"And you talking to king of idiots right now." said Shenhua.

"But, we all don't really have much to lose...nor do we have much of what you would call a life, but you do, and we will completely understand if you refuse. But please, just stay long enough to meet with Ms. Balalaika and allow yourself to hear her out."

Jeeja let out a large sigh.

"Fine. But I'm telling you right now, I'm probably not going to go for this."

"Thank you Jeeja. I'm certain you'll come around."

"Not likely."

Rock decided to put Revy in her room.

"Uhh Dutch, a little help?"

"Sure Rock."

Dutch helped set Rock set Revy down on her bed. She would surely be angry about what happened when she woke up.

Meanwhile Jeeja was being introduced to everyone in the room.

"So...you two are really highly skilled bodyguards for a rich guy?"

"Pretty much." said Roberta. "The whole maid thing was simply to hide that fact from Young Master. But eventually we've grown accustomed to it."

"Huh...interesting. And you are?" Jeeja asked Chang.

"I'm the one who flew you out here. Hi, the name's Chang, leader of the Hong Kong Triad, nice to meet ya."

"So you're like a mafia boss?"

"Yeah. I guess you could call me something like that. Except I'm the coolest one in the city. Don't believe what the others say."

"Hmph. Okay." Jeeja said with a smile. "And you two?"

"I'm Shenuha. Yeah I like knives and shit."

"My name...is Sawyer. I love...your movies."

"Oh...thank you."

"You're welcome...I'd be honored...to fight...along side you."

"Well...thanks. And you...Mr. Speeches."

"Hm. I'm glad you asked..." said Lotton. "I am Lotton...Lotton the wizard!" he said dramatically. "I was trained under the guidance of my master, Master Jaa."

"Ha ha! Master Jaa?" Jeeja asked with a laugh.

"I trained him best I could, but he's still pretty clumsy." replied Tony.

"Ha! That's a minor imperfection for the wizard. All enemies have trembled in fear in my presence."

"Ooohhh sounds scary." Jeeja said with a smile.

"Indeed it is, my lady."

"Well, it's nice to meet you all. You seem like an interesting bunch."

Rock and Dutch walked back into the room.

"Sorry about your friend."

"No need for an apology. From what I can tell she'll be pissed at you when she wakes up."

"Hey guys..." Benny said joining them in the room. "Balalaika sent me an email that she'll be starting the meeting in about an hour so...whoa...is someone shooting a movie in here?"

"Far from it. We've just recruited Tony Jaa and maybe Jeeja Yanin." explained Dutch.

"Maybe?"

"She's still deciding."

"No one would blame you for leaving. Heck, even I don't know why I'm staying. I guess that's the risk of being a hero, though."

"I know..."

"Where's Revy?"

"She's unconscious in her room. Jeeja knocked her out." said Rock.

"Whoa! Seriously?"

"Well...it's not like she left me with much of a choice...she was coming at me." explained Jeeja.

"Ohhh she won't be too happy with that."

"How long can she possible hold a grudge?"

About 45 minutes later...

Everyone was prepared to leave for Hotel Moscow. Chang sent a limo to pick them all up. Suddenly, and much to everyone's surprise, Revy came storming in the room.

"Okay! Where is that little bitch!"

She walked up to Jeeja.

"You and me, outside in the alley, now!"

"Revy, there's no time for that. The meeting starts in fifteen minutes." said Rock.

"Fine. As soon as we get back, you and I are going to have a showdown, got it little bitch?"

"Uhh...okay?"

"Good."

The limo arrived, and everyone walked down and got inside. It quickly drove them to Hotel Moscow, and as they got out, Jeeja heard a voice as she stepped out.

"Whoa! Look who it is!"

"Hm?"

A few small children, two boys and one girl ran over to Jeeja. Their clothes were ragged and dirty.

"Jeeja Yanin! You're our favorite movie star!" said one of the boys.

"Oh...thank you."

"Yeah! Hey, are you going to help protect the city?"

"Well...we'll see."

"I told you she was a hero in real life!" said the girl.

"Well...I wouldn't say that..." Jeeja said with a smile. Their mother, a young woman walked up to them.

"We have a TV but it doesn't get any channels. Sometimes the video store gives away movies to make room for others, and they just love every single one that you are in."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Is it true? Are you really going to help fight?"

"I don't know..."

"I really hope you do. We can't leave the city. We have no where else to go."

"Please Ms. Yanin? You gotta you gotta!"

"I'll think about it...okay?" Jeeja said with a small smile.

"Yay!" the children cheered as the mother smiled. Jeeja giggled.

"Come on Jeeja." said Tony.

"Oh I gotta go, but I might be back after to say hi, okay?"

"Okay! Bye Ms Yanin! Bye bye!" the children said as Jeeja left with Tony. The two Thai Martial artists went inside.

"Looks like you have some fans there."

"Yes...I guess so. They looked really poor and hungry."

"From the looks of it, your movies filled them with hope."

"Yeah..."

All of them walked up to Balalaika's office. A lot of her men, as well as a few new faces here and there were present. Eda was among them too.

"Fry-Face! It's been too long!" said Chang with a grin.

"Hello babe. Come, gather around."

She noticed Tony and Jeeja.

"Well, Tony Jaa and Jeeja Yanin. I must say, Dutch. You really outdid yourself."

"Um...I'm just thinking about joining, I haven't officially yet." said Jeeja.

"Is that so? Well I'm sure you'll come around once you hear what's at stake."

"Yeah...I saw a lot of people were in poverty."

"That's right. They can't afford to move anywhere else. They will most likely perish unless we protect them, which is why I called this meeting together. I have no idea on what the lower criminals around here plan to do, but they could be of use to us. If we recruited all the people with some kind of backround when it comes to weapons or fighting, we could double our chances of victory."

"What did you have in mind, Ms. Balalaika?" asked Rock.

"Your computer wiz there might know a thing or two."

"I think I can work something out." said Benny.

Balalaika opened up a large map and everyone gathered around it.

"Splendid. Now as for strategy, here's how I'm seeing it. Most of my personal army will be protecting the borders from invasion. I'll also set up some men with heavy artillery to prevent damage from an air strike in the middle of the city. That's where I'll have you all positioned as well to fight any incoming foot soldiers. We can give you any weapons you want."

"I like the sound of that." Dutch said with a grin.

"We already have everything we need, but thank you anyway Ms. Balalaika." Roberta said for her and Fabiola.

"Very well. I must ask...are you...alright to fight?"

"Please do not worry, I was in a dark place in the past, but I am all better now."

"Okay."

"Uhh Ms. Balalaika, what is my job?" asked Rock.

"As for you and Benny, he will be in charge of detecting and alerting us of the position of the enemy. And you Rock..."

Balalaika took out a cigar.

"You will be commanding this army to victory."

Everyone looked surprised.

"What!? Me!?" Rock said, shocked.

"Yes, you Rock. You are definitely one of the most brightest people we have when it comes to strategy and thinking things through."

"Uh Captain, are you sure that's a good decision?" asked Boris.

"I would rather fight with my men to the death than cower behind a desk. Besides, I know Rock isn't cut out for combat, but this is his strong suit. I have confidence that he won't let us down."

"B-But...I don't think..."

"My mind is made up, Rock. That is the plan. You are all dismissed. Go about your business until further orders. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-Yes ma'am..." Rock said.

"Very well. Goodnight then, General."

As they walked out, Rock began to think to himself. Could he really handle the responsibility of commanding an entire army? He had no choice though.

"Well!" Revy said. "General Rock. Has a nice ring to it."

"Revy, I don't know how I feel about all of this."

"You'll do just fine, Rock. I know it." said Dutch. "If it weren't for you, our asses would have been dead a long time ago thanks to your input."

"I see great things in you, Rock." said Tony. "I believe in you."

"So Jeeja, are you going to join us?" asked Fabiola.

"Well..."

"She has to! She owes me a fight!" said Revy.

Jeeja let out a sigh.

"I'd feel like a total ass if I just left those poor children to die...especially after I built up their hopes."

"Well put." said Chang. "In that case, why don't we all go to the Yellow Flag to celebrate! Drinks are on me!"

"Whoa! You serious? Let's do it!" said Revy.

"After all of this, I think we could all use a drink." said Dutch.

"Make it two." said Rock.

They all got back into the limo, which began to drive them to the Yellow Flag...


	4. Chapter 4

After a short ride later, the limo arrived at the Yellow Flag and everyone piled out. Revy led the way, excited to get drunk off her ass, and they burst inside. Everyone turned their heads when they saw Chang with two movie stars and several killers, including two that destroyed the place before. All the patrons murmured as they walked up to the bar. Bao took notice of Chang.

"Uh uh Mr. Chang! What a surprise!" he said forcing a smile. "W-What can I get for you?"

"A round of drinks for my friends, whatever they want."

"Right away!"

Bao served everyone whatever they ordered.

"L-Let's just keep things cool, you two." Bao said to Roberta and Fabiola. "I don't want any trouble."

"Please excuse my behavior the last time I was here." said Roberta. "It was very unlady like of me to destroy your establishment."

"No offense taken, let's just not have it happen again, okay?"

"You got it."

At the bar, Tony looked around.

"I get the feeling we aren't a regular sight."

"It's not...every day...they see someone...famous." explained Sawyer.

"Well I know I don't expose myself that much but how would they know it's me with this disguise?"

"Because...you have...such a...cute face that...it's hard...to miss."

"Ha. Thanks, but I think they're staring at me for a different reason."

Meanwhile, Chang and Revy were chugging glass after glass, laughing away.

"Ha ha ha! I can't remember the last time I partied like this!" said Chang. "I should do this every night!"

"Yeah I wish I couldsss too...but Rock's all like...noooooo."

"Because you make the place go kaboom." said Rock said sadly.

"Bullshit...I just have fun."

"Hey, lighten up Rock." said Dutch. "You're a smart guy. I know you'll do great."

"I've never been responsible for the lives of an entire city before. It's just a lot to take in."

"It's never easy. I've done my share of combat...back in the day. I saw and lived through some things I would never want to do again twice in my life. But we knew we were doing our duty as soldiers...so the point I'm trying to make is that I know you are scared, in fact, we all are to be honest, but we know this is the right thing to do. And that's why we're doing it."

"Huh...because it's the right thing to do...regardless of what happens..."

Just then several men walked up to Tony.

"That's him boss! That's the bum who thwarted our human trafficking scheme!"

"You don't say. So, ya dirty bum, got anything to say?"

"Hey!...Don't speak...to him...that way." said Sawyer.

"Whoa boss look out!" said one of the men. "This dame is that crazy chainsaw chick!"

"Yeah...except she doesn't have her chainsaw...and she ain't nothin' without that!" the other man said.

"Then let's teach them both a thing or two."

Suddenly and without hesitation, Sawyer lifted up her dress and pulled out a large machete, which was holstered to her leg. She pointed it at them, and they reacted in fear.

"Not one...step...closer."

"Hey...come on now, Sawyer." Bao said trying to de-escalate the situation. "We don't need any of that now."

"That depends...on their...next move."

"I'm tired of this bullshit!" said the boss. "Let's pump this emo bitch full of lead!"

As soon as the boss pulled out his pistol, Sawyer, with a quick slash, sliced the man's hand off. He screamed as blood sprayed from his arm, and was then slashed once more across his face. Sawyer calmly looked up at the other men with an emotionless look on her face.

"F-Frederica..." Tony said in shock.

"Boss!" one of the men yelled. "Die you bitch!"

As they opened fire and everyone hit the deck, Sawyer leaped into the air and drove her machete into the man's shoulder, causing him to shriek in pain. As Sawyer pulled it out, she began to calmly walk towards the third man, who was paralyzed with fear. Sawyer was seconds away from stabbing him in the chest, when...

"Frederica!"

Tony pulled on the girl's arm, preventing her from killing the man.

"Enough...you don't need to do this..."

"Tony..."

The man took this chance to run out of the bar in fear. Bao, who was taking cover behind the bar, shotgun in hand, let out a sigh of relief.

"We need to be recruiting these people...not killing them. They are not the enemy."

Sawyer slowly hung her head down in shame.

"I'm...sorry..."

Tony let go of the girl's arm.

"I think...I need...to step...outside..."

Sawyer slowly walked out to the entrance of the bar as the shocked patrons watched. The room was so quiet you could hear a needle drop.

"Well...that was something." said Chang.

"Will she be alright?" asked Tony.

"Oh she have emotional problems." explained Shenuha. "She do that all the time."

The bar slowly but eventually calmed down.

"So what should we do about them?" Revy asked pointing to the two men on the floor, bleeding to death.

"We should try and help them if we can..." suggested Tony.

"I think they don't got much time left, so why don't they pay a visit to Dr. Cutlass and Chang's guys can clean them up?" Revy asked taking out a cutlass.

"No, Revy. We will shed no more blood. Why don't you call some guys over so we can try and save them?"

"You got it." said Chang taking out his cellphone and calling someone. In a matter of minutes a few men arrived and took the two injured gangsters away.

"Wow...that was pretty fast." said Rock.

"That's the way I work." Chang answered.

"You know, I think I'm going to go talk to Frederica." said Tony.

"Say, Tony..." said Bao. "When you get back, I'll let you have any drink on the house...as a thanks for preventing disaster. My bar has been obliterated time and time again...mostly thanks to this bitch right here." he said pointing at Revy.

"Hey!...I jus...I was juss partyin'..."

"You're very welcome, sir. I'll be right back."

Tony left the bar to see Sawyer sitting by herself outside, curled up in a ball. He walked over and kneeled down to her.

"Frederica?"

Sawyer looked up at him with a sad expression.

"Tony..."

"Listen...I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate you defending me. I know you risked your life for me back there, and for that I highly respect you for it, but we can't kill our own people. We're going to fight along side them...so you need to control yourself. Save it for the battlefield."

"You're right Tony...I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Tony said with a smile. "I just know deep down that you won't disappoint me."

"I won't..."

He stood up and offered her his hand. She smiled and took it as he helped her up. Back in Bangkok he learned to deal with many crazy characters not unlike Sawyer. He understood this was a city where everyone was at each other's throats. Roughing up and killing each other was their only known way of life, and Tony knew more than anyone that many of the criminals in his hometown were not far off.

Sawyer continued to hold Tony's hand as they walked back inside. They walked up to the bar to see Jeeja joining in Revy and Chang's drinking game.

"Ha ha ha! You should just give up now!" Jeeja said grinning and crossing her arms as Chang and Revy sat there, dumbfounded. "Haven't you seen my film Raging Phoenix? I had to drink bottle after bottle, and still be steady enough to perform martial arts. There's no way you can beat me."

Revy then puked her guts out all over the floor.

"Oh geez Revy!" said Bao. "I should really hire a janitor..." he said as he took out a mop and some janitorial supplies and began to mop the vomit off the floor.

"Ha ha, Jeeja, you shouldn't swindle them like that." said Tony. "You could make a lot of people angry by doing that."

"Serves her right for calling me a little bitch."

"It's because...because you are!" said Revy. "And you still owe me dat fight!"

"Hm. I think it's about time we took you home." Tony told her.

"Yeah, I'm starting to get tired. She should go back and rest up." suggested Dutch. "Thanks for the drinks, Chang."

"No prob...I should go out and drink like this more often...maybe Fry-Face could come with me next time. God knows she needs a drink."

"Looks like I have to call it a night and return later for that free drink, Bao." said Tony with a smile.

"Sure! You're welcome back anytime!"

Dutch helped Revy up and the group left the Yellow Flag.

"So...where will...you go...tonight?" Sawyer asked Tony.

"Oh probably back behind my dumpster."

"That's...crazy talk! You're...staying with...me tonight."

"Oh uh...well...as long as I'm not being a burden..."

"Nah it's cool. You can crash at our place." said Shenhua.

"Okay. I guess I will in that case. I'll see you all later." Tony said to the Lagoon gang.

"See ya." said Dutch. Tony left with Sawyer and her friends while Dutch and the others got into Chang's Limo.

"Say Chang, do you know of any good places for these ladies to stay?" Dutch asked.

"Ha, there's many motels around here that are cheap."

"If you think for one second that I'm staying at some sleazy motel..." said Fabiola.

"Kidding! Ha ha! Of course you three can stay at the nice rooms in my headquarters.  
>It'll be nice to have some ladies around." he said with a grin.<p>

"Don't get any sick ideas..." Fabiola said.

Chang had his driver drop off the Lagoon gang at their office. Once they went inside, Rock stumbled into his room and plopped on his bed, still heavily drunk.

"Hey Benny-boy, want to see something funny?" Dutch asked Benny.

"I could use a laugh."

"Alright, Revy. This way to your room..." Dutch said leading the drunken Revy over to Rock's room.

"Ugh...damn that little bitch..."

Dutch let Revy walk into Rock's room and closed the door.

"Heh heh, you know Revy will be pissed as hell when she finds out about all of this." said Benny.

"Nah, we'll just say she did it herself. She'll be pissed, but she'll believe it."

In Rock's room, Revy, not noticing Rock on his bed, took off her holsters, boots, and shorts, then walked over to the bed.

"Damn I need some sleep."

She let herself fall onto the bed, on top of Rock.

"Ugh...what the? Revy?"

"The fuck? Rock?"

Rock turned over on his back to see Revy on top of him.

"What are you doing here? This is my room."

"Nah...Dutch said...oh that bitch...I'll kill him!"

"Noooo Revy...stay here. I need...the company."

"Why you actin' like such a pussy, Rock? You're like...our general or something."

"I'm no general...I've never constructed battle plans before."

"It's easy...all you gotta do is like...get a blue print of the city...use Sis's original plan as a template, and set us each where you want us based on our skill sets and whatnot..."

"That's it?"

"That's it..."

"Yeah...but why are you on top of me?"

"I dunno...what are you doin' beneath me?"

"I was here first...this is my bed."

"Okay...so can I sleep with you or what?"

"Ugh...I need...the company."

"Fine...geez you're persistent." Revy said pulling down her panties and trying to undo Rock's belt."

"Revy! What are you doing!?"

"I'm about to have sex with you, stupid. What's it look like?"

"B-But..."

"Rock, you need a lesson on bein' a man. And a way to do that is you gotta leave boyhood behind. I know you haven't even seen a pussy, so this will change ya."

"This isn't like you!"

"You fuckin' talk too much...all you do is blab blab blab...now shut up and kiss me."

"What?"

Revy proceeded to give Rock a deep tounge kiss. He hesitated at first, but then sunk right into it.

Meanwhile...

Tony, Sawyer, Lotton, and Shenhua arrived at their house.

"Okay...crash wherever." Shenhua told Tony.

"Okay. The couch looks comfy enough."

"Nonsense!...Come...sleep with...me." said Sawyer.

"Now now, I wouldn't want to make you feel awkward by doing that."

"It would be...no problem...at all."

"Well..."

"Come on..." Sawyer said holding his arm. "This way..."

"Alright." Tony said with a smile. "If you insist."

Sawyer led Tony to her bedroom, which was filled with a gothic decor, and many bizarre posters on the walls. She took him to the bed, which was big enough for two people.

"Are you sure you'll be comfortable?"

"Very...much so."

"Okay. Do you mind if I?" he asked gesturing to his clothes.

"Take off...as much...as you want." she said flirtaciously.

"Alright..."

Tony took off his beggar jacket and shirt until he was just wearing his pants. Sawyer blushed upon looking at the man's muscular body.

"My...my."

After a quick hesitation, Sawyer then took off her shirt and skirt until she was in her underwear. Tony had to admit, she was very attractive, but he was never intending to try anything with her. Sure she was sweet, but considering the situation they were all in, he didn't want to get too attached.

Tony then stepped over to the bed and got beneath the covers as Sawyer did the same. After a few moments, Sawyer cuddled up against him.

"Goodnight...Tony."

"Goodnight Frederica."

The next morning...

Revy slowly opened her eyes. Her head hurt like hell, and her stomach was in agony. Suddenly, she felt that she was cuddled up against something.

"Huh? What the hell?"

She realized this "something" was none other than her fellow Lagoon comrade.

"ROOOOOOOOOOCK!"


	5. Chapter 5

"Revy!?"

Revy immidiently pushed him off the bed.

"Just what the fuck do you think you're doing!?"

"I-I don't know!" Rock said, still confused over the situation.

"Well I know that you're fucking dead!" said Revy walking over to her cutlasses, picking them up, and pointing them at Rock.

"Wait wait wait! Revy don't do this!"

"You've got five seconds to give me a reason why I shouldn't blow your head off."

"We were both drunk last night! I'm sure whatever happened we would have never done had we been sober!"

Revy continued to shoot a death glare at him, but after a few moments she lowered her arms.

"Just put your fucking clothes on..."

Meanwhile...

Back at Chang's headquarters, Jeeja, Fabiola, and Roberta were each given personal rooms in the building. They were quite lavish, as Chang only reserved them for special guests. Fabiola rested on her back on her bed comfortably.

"Ahhh. I could get used to this. Sure I'll be risking my life for these people I really wouldn't give a rat's ass about, but at least I would be living the rest of my days in this nice room. It's even better than the one I have at the Lovelace mansion..."

Just then there was a knock on her door.

"Who is it?"

"Mr Chang wishes to speak to you in his office." said one of Chang's men.

"Okay I'll be right there!"

Fabiola got up and answered the door. The man led her to Chang's office. Once inside she noticed that Jeeja and Roberta were already there.

"Ah there you are Fabiola."

"What's up, Chang?"

"Now that you're all here I can tell you. Fry-Face just called and told me today is the day you will start your training. While we're aware that you three are already very skilled when it comes to hand to hand combat, you need a little more training with gunfighting. And by you, I mean you, Jeeja. The rest of us has a lot of backround in firearms. You, Tony and a couple of others do not, which is why you will learn today."

"Alright...sounds fair enough." said Jeeja.

"The rest of us will still polish up our skills. Fry-Face has put me in charge of firearm training, so we will now leave to her place to practice at her shooting range."

Just then the phone on Chang's desk rang.

"Huh? Now who could that be?"

He stepped over and answered it.

"Hello?...Two-Hands, what is it, I'm in the middle of something. Oh...yeah she's here."

Chang held the phone out.

"Uhh Jeeja, Revy wants to talk to you."

Jeeja walked over and was handed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Little Bitch. You and I have some unfinished business. Don't think I have forgotten."

"Revy, we don't have time for that. Chang says we're all going to practice at a target range."

"I know! I mean after that, you and I are going at it. No holding back."

Jeeja sighed.

"If you're really not going to let this go, then I guess we can skirmish afterwards."

"Splendid. After training today, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Uhhh yeah sure Revy."

"Oh really? Is that a challenge Little Bitch? You don't think I've got it in me? I don't care how young you are, one way or another, you're gonna get floored."

"Revy, I'm thirty years old."

"Ha! That's a laugh. Doesn't matter."

"Okay...are you done?"

"Fine. Don't pussy out on me."

Revy hung up.

"What did she want?" asked Chang.

"She wanted a rematch fight I guess."

1 hour later...

Everyone was at Balalaika's private indoor gun range, practicing shooting with guns. Even Rock and Benny were attempting to practice with Chang and Balalaika overseeing.

"Come on, you can do better than that." said Chang to Benny.

"I've never handled a gun before. Turns out an automatic pistol had too much recoil for me, so Revy gave me this revolver to practice with instead. I'm still a pretty lousy shot though."

"Let me see what you've got."

Benny aimed the revolver at the target board. He tried to steady himself, but couldn't stop from shaking. He then fired, completely missing.

"You've got to steady yourself. It's kind of like that computer hacking you do. You're in the zone, concentrating on what you're doing, and when you know you've found what you're looking for, bang! You got it."

"Uh...okay..."

Benny pointed the revolver at the target again, and thought about what Chang said about computer hacking, how he never broke a sweat and always knew what he was doing. He had no reason to be nervous or panic. It was not only something he excelled at, but also something he really enjoyed. The more he thought of it, firing a gun was kind of like hacking. He had to put his mind to it, focus on what he was doing, and crack the code.

BANG!

Benny fired, hitting the very edge of the red on the target. He smiled in excitement, as he had never accomplished something like this before.

"Well done." said Chang. He and Balalaika moved down the line but he stopped at Revy, who was shooting at a picture of Jeeja.

"Okaaaay..."

Meanwhile Jeeja was trying her best firing her pistol. She kept hitting the outer edges of the target. She stopped when she ran out of ammo and let out a sad sigh as her target slid to her.

"Maybe I'm just not cut out for gun fighting..."

"Uh...Ms. Yanin?"

"Hm?"

Jeeja turned around to see Roberta peeking from her booth and looking at her.

"Oh. Roberta."

"I think you better take a look at Ms. Rebecca's target."

Jeeja looked down the line to see a picture of herself being shot in the face multiple times.

"She sure has disturbing obsessions with people that can best her at fighting..."

"Well, I'm just glad she's no longer obsessed with me..." said Roberta.

Meanwhile Chang and Balalaika reached Rock, who was doing worse than Benny.

"Well you've worked miracles before, Chang. Let's see another one." said Balalaika.

"Uhh...okay."

Rock tried to aim at the target, but he shook even more than Benny, and missed completely, becoming startled when the gun fired.

"I take it you've never even held a gun before." said Chang.

"I'm really not cut out for this kind of thing..." Rock said turning to him.

"You know sometimes when you actually try at something, you suck, but in a life or death situation, instinct takes over, and the brain does what it can to save your ass."

"So...what you're saying is that if put in a certain situation, I would automatically know what to do and do it?"

"Well, as General of our army, you wouldn't need to know too much skill of that anyway. Your job is to tell everyone where to go and what to do, and make us last as long as we can."

"Still, I don't want to die knowing that I was in the hands of a man who couldn't even fire a gun properly." said Balalaika. "If worse comes to worse, and we give you a weapon, you should at least know how to use it and take a few of the enemy down with you. I don't want to hear any story of my General going down with his tail between his legs."

"I understand..."

"Good. Now keep at it. Just look at the target, steady, aim, fire."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Okay..."

Rock did just what he was told. It seemed simple enough. He held up the pistol, aimed at the target and fired. To his surprise he hit the target near the red in the middle.

"Much better." said Chang.

"Whoa..."

"You see that, Rock?" asked Balalaika. "When in a gunfight you never think about steadying yourself and all of that nonsense. No time to think about it. You do it or you die."

Rock nodded in agreement. He then turned back to practice a second time as Balalaika and Chang continued to walk down the line. They stopped at Lotton, who was just leaning on the side of his booth.

"Hey! You aren't here to slack off. Get to practicing." ordered Balalaika.

"I'm afraid there's no need."

"And why's that?"

"I am already as skilled as can be. I do not need to practice as I am already skilled."

"Oh really? Then show me what you've got." said Chang. Lotton instantly took out his gun and fired a bunch of rounds at the target, each one hitting the very center. The two mafia bosses were stunned, Balalaika so much that her jaw dropped, causing the cigar she was smoking to fall out of her mouth.

"Uhh...weren't you supposed to be clumsy?" she asked.

"Who me? I may be clumsy at times, but they don't call me the wizard for nothing."

"Fair enough. Keep it up."

They continued to practice for about thirty minutes more, until Balalaika received a text on her cellphone.

"GUNS DOWN!" she bellowed. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to them. Balalaika began to pace down the line.

"Now, as you know, when you first join the army you go through a boot camp. One of the activities that you have to participate in are timed runs through obstacle courses. Outside, with the help of a personal friend of mine, you could say we've set up our own course for you to run. Except this one is a hundred times more rigorous than anything those foolish Americans can come up with. When you join this command, I will accept nothing less than fighting alongside brutal, tough as nails killing machines. Which after you've gone through my training..."

She stopped at Benny.

"Is what you're going to become."

Benny gulped.

"So with that, all of us will now move outside, where we will meet with your drill sergeant. And I want a single file line."

"Ma'am yes, ma'am!"

Everyone lined up and followed Chang and Balalaika outside the building, to where on the street, a huge, threatening looking obstacle course resided. Everyone, even Tony and Jeeja, were surprised.

"Ahh, there you are Sergeant."

Everyone turned to an Indonesian man, dressed head to toe in combat gear. Although not too tall, he looked like he could tear a man apart. The man stared at them with an angry, determined expression on his face.

"Comrades, this is Iko Uwais." said Balalaika. "He will be taking over this portion of your training."

"LINE UP MAGGOTS!" Iko roared. Everyone did as they were told and lined up at the start of the course, with Rock first in line.

"Ms. Balalaika wants to fight alongside comrades who are as tough as her. While I don't doubt that some of you have skills..."

He paced down the line and stopped at Revy.

"I for sure doubt that some of you have brains."

"Why I oughta!"

"Hey, not now." Dutch said holding her back.

"But that is why you're here right now." Iko continued. "Today each of you will run this course, designed to test your strength and courage. If you survive, then you might just have what it takes to defend this city. So with that, on my count you will begin. I'll even run the course too, but I will not be babysitting you. I'll be too busy finishing first, do I make myself clear?"

"Sir yes sir!" everyone shouted.

"Good, now on my count. One, two, THREE!"

And with that everyone started, with Iko zooming off and already speeding through the course, with the only other people keeping up with him being Tony and Jeeja. Everyone else who was athletic enough made their way through the first obstacle, which were rope swings over several feet high. Mostly everyone swung across to the next obstacle, except for Rock, Benny, and Lotton. They were slower than everyone else.

"Hey! Is that my General up there!?" Balalaika yelled at them through a megaphone on the ground. "Get moving you three!"

They eventually made it across, and were on to the next obstacle, which were monkeybars over a pool of water.

"Come on! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Move your asses, come on!" Balalaika yelled at them. They slowly made it across.

Eventually after their fourth obstacle, the three men were exhausted, and moved even slower through the course. Everyone else had already finished. Revy and a few others walked up to Balalaika and Chang.

"Hold on let me see that. Rock? You're still going?" Revy asked with the megaphone.

"Uhh yes Revy!" Rock yelled struggling to climb up a tall rock wall, which was their last obstacle.

"Just get your ass over the wall already! We're all waiting for you so we can go to the Yellow Flag!"

"Okay!..."

Rock had to admit, he could really use a drink. That thought alone was enough to lift his spirits and make him move faster.

Revy stepped away from them and Jeeja walked up to Balalaika and borrowed the megaphone.

"Lotton!"

"Jeeja?"

"What are you doing lagging behind? You told me you were The Wizard! The one who could never miss a shot! The one who all men feared most! And you're telling me you can't get to the top of the wall? You're The Wizard! You can do anything!"

"She's right!" said Lotton. "I am...LOTTON THE WIZARD!"

Lotton suddenly gained strength and caught up with Rock, who was almost to the top. Benny was still behind them.

"Damn...I'll never get over this wall..."

"Heeeey! Benny-Boy!"

"Jane!? What the hell are you doing here?"

Benny looked, and sure enough, it was none other than Jane, his girlfriend.

"What are you doing moving so slow? Hurry up so you and I can play...I even brought your favorite toys..."

Somehow these words were enough to fill Benny with the confidence he needed to catch up with Rock and Lotton. The three men finally managed to make it over the top and to the finish. They were greeted by Balalaika, Chang, and Iko.

"A pitiful display, to say the least." said Balalaika.

"Yeah, Rock. When I said you had the power to change Roanapur, I'm starting to think I didn't mean physical power."

"Gee, thanks Chang. I needed that."

"He's right. God Ms. Balalaika, I don't know why you promoted him to General." said Iko.

"Hey aren't you just an actor?" asked Rock.

"Part-time. But when Ms. Balalaika told me about this situation, I couldn't stand idle by and let innocent people get killed. I'll fight alongside you. With you being General, this city will need all the help it can get."

"With all due respect, Sgt." said Balalaika. "Rock may not be a tough fighter, but he's a damned good strategist, and one of the most brightest men in the city."

"Is that so? Well I hope you prove it come wartime, son."

Rock looked at him with a determined look.

"I will."


End file.
